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sábado, 11 de septiembre de 2010

Todd the Toad

Todd the Toad jumped and broke his leg. The Toads are known for not to be good jumpers, but Todd the Toad jumped. Nobody knows in advance what's going to happen when you take a risky decission and in this case Todd the Toad broke his leg.

As a result of this accident, Todd the Toad couldn't move but in circles. Stubborn like a Toad, Todd kept on moving. Have you seen anything more stubborn than a Toad? I haven't. They cross the roads in England spite the warning pannels, but this seems to occur only in England...

Back to the story, Todd the Toad kept on moving, only in circles. With time, he make a perfect round hole, and with more time, the hole was bigger, and bigger and bigger... and finally he found petrol.

Note for the readers. This story takes place in England, not in Spain. I am scared of the Spaniards. They are very capable to break a leg of every Toad they find and put them to dig holes, while saying, Toads won't exist if they don't do that, we feed them well, they prove how stubborn they are, they were born for this, etc. Although not many Spaniards will read this, because few of them read English, they are happy being ignorants and using only the language of the empire, I am still scared and want to set this clear, this is happening in England and cannot be exported. The English are known to hate cruelty towards animals...

Back again. So Todd the Toad found petrol, and he became rich. He started with a company, TT Oil, and made big money. However, he kept on moving, made another hole and found petrol again. Stubborn like a Toad can only be, Todd made hundreds of oil wells, and TT Oil became the largest oil company in the world.

Note for the English readers. There is no petrol in England right? This is only a fiction story. Putting Toads to dig in England will only result in big holes with no petrol into them, only rain water. It is a waste of time. I bet that this will stop those English who, spite their well known lack of cruelty towards animals, would be tempted to use Toads as digging machines. How smart I am.

Going on with the story, Todd the Toad never went to a doctor to heal his leg, spite he could had been chosen the best doctors and hospitals in the world. He had only one idea in his mind, moving on.

He kept on moving of course to his death. Todd the Toad was found deeply down the last hole, smiling like the most happiest of the living beings.

Todd the Toad's smile became a controversial issue. Why was he smiling? TT Oil created a foundation, not for the purpose of distracting taxes, called TT Smile Foundation, with the aim of finding out an answer to this question, gathering experts who would write and talk about this interesting subject.

The Foundation called dozens of experts to meet together. A young but famous painter was called to preside the gathering. His name was Leonardo da Vinci. His artwork “TT smile” was hung on a prominent place of the assembly hall. This painting is known today as “The Gioconda”.

The monotheists claimed that TT had converted in the last minute and was seeing the paradise. Among them, the muslims noted that “our paradise is the best”.

The wiccans said, it's clear, he wanted to make holes and he made holes, harming nobody. He fulfilled the rede and this can only make you happy isn't it? Or is it not?

Among them, there were uncountable notes to this statement. And notes to the notes. And notes to the notes of the notes. The rest of the pagans complained because the wiccans were talking on behalf of every pagan. The wiccans complained because they considered non wiccans others who were calling themselves wiccans. All of them listened carefully to the other participants, understanding everything. Finally, a third degrees council gave a final statement to the assembly and all wiccans kept silence and obeyed. They were expulsed of the gathering. Come on, this is not serious, the majority said.

The budhists said, nirvana.

The atheists said, it has a scientifical explanation.

The English said nothing, but placed the TT Oil main office in Gibraltar.

The Spaniards were watching a bullfight after the siesta and paid no attention.

The Jamaicans... well, they were smoking.

Many people spoke in there for long time. Fortunately, someone came with Todd the Toad's last words. “ops, I think I have something into my mouth” and suddenly he died.

Final note. This tale is dedicated to Nazih, my Moroccan friend and brother, as I would like to celebrate the end of the Ramadam somehow with him.

In Morocco...

Of course, they would have put every Toad to dig holes.

The Toads won't even think on going hospital to heal their legs, for not to pay bribes.

The king would have taken 50% of the TT Oil for him.

The police would had asked TT for papers at every time, just to make some dirhams.

The iman would say “this is Allah's gift to the believers” and take some dirhams too.

Every oil well would be celebrated with a week long community fiesta.

The oil money will be kept in the bank, not letting others know how much money you have and avoiding petitions like “drive me somewhere”

1 comentario:

  1. Has viajado más que el Magallanes, jajajaja, y tienes un avanzado nivel de inglés, admito que lo he traducido en el traductor. Pero prefiero enterarme sea como sea, que no ser un "ignorante" como comentas en la historia.